The poem of pain

To tell a truth and not a lie,
Is to say each day I pray to die,
The man in me can take no more,
For I am plagued greater than before,
My cries to heaven return unheard,
My burdens remain unshared,
For all the love he has as Lord,
To me none can he afford.

The rising sun is like a stake to me,
A reminder of my enemies' hold over me,
The setting sun is but a moment of peace,
Just a moment as we return to this,
Every thought I hold brings me pain,
A reminder that I am but a bloodied stain,
I dare not try any more,
For as I do the hurt is greater than before.

I dare not try to take my life,
For in that I may fail as I have in life,
I pray that God does it for me,
Or is that mercy too good for me,
Am I so evil that he may hate me so,
For he loved me once, a while ago,
Today living each day is my pain,
I fear I cannot rise another day again.