Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Easier not to believe

Its easier not to believe,
Because the alternative brings me pain,
To think of the journey i have walked,
And that a father who loves me would let me walk so,
That he would gift my every day with pain,
That my cries would never be heard.
I felt as though I cried to an abyss
Where noone would hear me.
The expectation made the sorrow greater,
The failure tore my heart to shreds,
The tears burned deeper than my soul,
I wonder if I will ever be whole.
So I find comfort in the thoughts I have,
That noone is letting me down,
That in this life I need just me,
I will be the pillar by which I stand,
For belief brings me more pain.
I know now more than ever,
That it is easier not to believe.

I try to conceal

The shimmer in my eye betrays it all,
The darned window to the soul,
It shows what I try to hide,
Reveals what is kept inside.

She haunts my every dream,
She radiates like an untouched beam,
I need these feelings to go,
For she must never know.

I try all I can to conceal the way I feel,
But that thief, my heart does steal,
I turn away so my eyes give away no more,
As I have done many times before.


Saturday, March 31, 2018

The Traveller

I yearn to see things I have never seen,
To be places I have never been,
A sense of adventure awakens my soul,
The Adrenalin makes me whole.
I chart my course on a map of the world
Seeking no fortune or gold.
I seek a prize that few embrace,
A feeling of presence and grace.

It points me north towards Europe
Where Rome embraces me with ancient buildings,
The cobbled streets make me feel at home
And the chipped walls make me want to see more.
Venice, oh you city on stilts,
Your charm woos me so,
And London, and Paris too
Don't forget the beauties Spain has to hold.

It points me East towards Asia,
Where I have seen the great Wall in China,
Malaysia I wish conquer soon,
Thailand too.
I travel around Africa where nature is an amazing diversity
The seas, the plains and the rolling hills,
Such a beauty to behold
And even better to set my feet.

I am a traveller at heart and in deed
I find my heart yearning to go far and wide
To climb hills and mountains
To embrace cultures beyond my own
Beyond the place I call home,
For riches are not in what I hold
But truly in what I behold
As a true traveller must.

Angel Eyes

You look across and you smile,
You have no idea I've been staring for a while,
You have no idea what I see when I look,
Yet to me you're an open book,
I smile back to conceal my desires,
And the fact that in me you light raging fires,
Then I see the twinkle in your eyes,
In your angel eyes.

Never let you go

I held on to the thought of you,
Even though I knew I'd long lost you
I was afraid that if I let go
I'd lose so much more
I'd lose a part of me
A part I couldn't let free,
I'd lose a glimmer of the future,
And become a desolate creature.

I knew this day would come,
When I'd have to loose your arm,
But I was never prepared,
Truth, I was scared,
Now that it is upon me my fears are confirmed,
My feelings for you, in pain reaffirmed,
I wish you happiness and love
I wish you precious gifts from above.

I'm surprised by the tear that rolls down my face,
I try not give it space,
For I need to be better for you
Perhaps for me too.
You will never know how much you mean to me,
Stronger than any love could be,
I know I lost you long ago,
Sadly I can never let you go.

You've been untrue

You lie next to me and I know you've been untrue,
Sleep won't come as I ponder what to do,
I've given my life and my all to you,
Yet somehow I knew.

I knew that I gave too much,
I knew that I loved too much,
I knew that I believed too much,
I knew you never loved as much.

Yet I thew it to the back of my mind,
Hoping it was a feeling I wouldn't find,
I looked for thoughts of every other kind,
And hoped that love would be our bind.

I ransomed my future on you,
To you, I was true,
My anger tells me what to do,
Lord guide me to see this through.

Not the man I used to be

I am not the man I used to be,
In my eyes I am free,
My eyes have been opened
My instincts have been sharpened,
I've seen the other side
Beyond the chasm and great divide,
I've learned new ways
And seen better days.

Do you take your life and hand it to another man,
Believing that he has a plan,
A plan never shared with you,
Yes you believe him to be true,
A man who never shares with you a word,
It rings to me absurd,
I choose to be the custodian of my dreams,
A better bet it seems.

Ask him to speak and say here I am,
Not through intermediaries from another realm
Ask him to tell you what to do,
To share with many and not few,
Ask him about your free will
And if you hold it still
I am where I need to be
Not the man u used to be.

Easier not to believe

Its easier not to believe, Because the alternative brings me pain, To think of the journey i have walked, And that a father who loves me ...