My Pain

This will in me is what fails me,
My beating heart betrays me,
This life I live depresses me,
My dreams haunt me,

I find no place of peace,
No place for release,
I’m caged in a pain filled prison,
My only hope may lie in poison.

Or perhaps in any that would slay me,
Perhaps then I can be free,
I’ve been given hope that I may know pain,
Talents, that lead to no gain.

I wonder what God has in store for me,
Or does he laugh when he thinks of me,
Or perhaps I’m a blot he does not remember,
Stuck in this painful cycle forever.

The feelings I bear are hard to comprehend,
Fear, anger, regret, all with no end,
I fear the voices in my head,
The pain in me fills me with dread.