Broken Soul

Sometimes I wish I were dead,
But even that fills me with dread,
Perhaps God will grant me a chance in the afterlife,
Free of the hurt of this life,
Perhaps I'd know to stop trying,
And maybe save myself from crying,
Perhaps to get a fresh start,
From this flesh I must depart.

I have nothing left in me,
My will and determination now run free,
Free of me and the chains they were in,
Free of my desire to win,
As I shed tears upon my bed,
I feel anger for the chances I never had,
Everything I touched turned to dust,
Even gold withered to rust.

I pray to God that he may show me a sign,
That from these depths victory could still be mine,
But I hear a deafening silence,
I pray that he greets me with his presence,
For my soul is battered and weary,
Oh Lord, please hear me,
My soul is broken,
May God grant me the words spoken.

I know not where to go from here,
Perhaps I'm plagued with fear,
That every try leads to a fail,
The harder I try, the harder the fail,
I cannot try any more,
What am I here for?
Shall I be an example of pain,
Pain with no gain.

I feel the tears on my cheeks like blood,
This life to me has been hard,
Fate has been unkind through the pain I've borne,
And never before have I felt so alone,
The weight of this life is heavy on me,
How can I be free?
How can i be whole?
How can I heal my broken soul.